I feel like my life is unbalanced.
How is it that I can take out a student loan and live on money I don't really have? I understand the meaning of investment. Good ones, bad ones, what will get a return, what won't. But even still, am I moving forward by going back?
How is it that I have to place a monetary value on my being able to spend Christmas at home? I don't want to feel burdened for going home. My plane ticket is my ticket to see my family. Why should buying a ticket make me less excited to go home? Or will I value my family time more by being able to or not being able to go home? is the question "can I afford the ticket?" or "should I afford the ticket?" or should I even ask a question?
How is it that I am almost done my education and I still feel like I'm just barely beginning to grasp how to bring a thought together intelligently and thoughtfully, slowly drawing it out on a piece of paper, grasping for words?
How is it that the world moves so quickly, that time passes without letting me mine the moment for the worth, and I'm stuck with a pick axe or jackhammer in hand, trying to mine a moment in the past as time continues to move forward? Does the time that passes while I'm jack-hammering on a earlier moment mean more because I'm mining, even though hundreds and perhaps thousands of other moments are passing by? Do we waste time mining something of little worth when something of greater worth lies in a moment that we haven't touched?
I can't be all places at once. I can't be all things at once. I can't do all things at once. But I am always at once alive.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Lobster Fishing
It will be two weeks ago this coming Wednesday that I had the amazing opportunity to experience an essential part of the Maritimes. I was invited to be a fourth man on a fishing boat on the second day of lobster season.
My Wednesday began at 5 am. My International Studies professor, Lois, and her husband Dale live on Deer Island, an island that is a short ferry ride off the southern Canadian Atlantic coast, part of the Bay of Fundy. I had driven there the night before in anticipation of the early morning and long day. One of the primary occupations on Deer Island is fishing, and I was waking up early with Dale and others from the island to join them in pulling in the nights catch.
The day before Dale and the crew (his son Judson, Judson's friend and a classmate of mine, Kyle) had baited and dropped the lobster traps (300 of them!). As the traps rest on the ocean floor, the bait attracts the lobster and they get caught in the cage, "trapped" until the cage is hauled up and the lobsters removed.
Hauling in the cages was our job that Wednesday. And because it was the first catch of the season it was also one of the most important. The cages are attached to a rope with a buoy on the end of it (sometimes the rope is up to 50 fathoms or 300 feet long). The rope retrieved by hooking the buoy and then fed into a hydrolic pulley which begins pulling up the cage. Once up the cage is then emptied of its catch (lobster, fish, crabs, sometimes pop cans), re-baited with fresh bait and dropped back down into the ocean.
The lobsters are kept, obviously, but only those over a certain size. Rubber bands are put on their claws to keep them from fighting and injuring each other when they are stored in their crates. It was my job to put rubber bands on the lobsters and pack them in the crates while Dale drove the boat and Judson retrieved and re-baited the cages. We worked on the boat from around 6:30 am until 5 pm, moving from buoy to buoy and pulling up each cage. By the time we headed back for the harbour we had managed to pull up 295 of the 300 cages and about 2000 lbs of lobster!
Some might be interested in what side affects I felt from a day on the ocean. Well, sorry to disappoint, but I found my legs and stomach were quite solid. It was a beautiful day though, with calm water and the only major waves being the ones that the fishing boats were making. I may or may not have fell into the bait box a couple times when I lost my balance banding the lobsters. I also lost feeling in my hand about halfway through the day from using the banding pliers so repetitively.
It's funny to think that an animal which was once thought of as a bottom feeder, and not to be eaten unless at last resort, is today one of the more popular and expensive dishes. The coasts of New Brunswick and Maine are well known for their lobster. An article I read from back in 2007 pointed out that lobster is one of Canada's most valuable seafood resources, with live lobster generating anywhere from 400 to 600 million dollars in revenue per year. The last couple years have been tougher with catches lower than usual. He said the catch we pulled in that Wednesday was good for an average year. Dale said prices for live lobster were low now, but he still seemed optimistic. Like many fisherman, Dale counts on the various fishing seasons throughout the year. Lobster season opens in mid November and closes mid January, and then scallop season begins and others follow. Canada's fishing industry is important to the many maritimers throughout New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, PEI and Newfoundland who depend on the fish and lobster each year.
During my time here I've experienced a lobster "feed" a couple of times. I think it takes some getting used to. For any who have yet to experience it, eating lobster is interesting and messy work. If done right it tastes great, and the experience quite unforgettable. Here are a few pictures from the day on the boat and also one from from our lobster feed earlier this year.
My Wednesday began at 5 am. My International Studies professor, Lois, and her husband Dale live on Deer Island, an island that is a short ferry ride off the southern Canadian Atlantic coast, part of the Bay of Fundy. I had driven there the night before in anticipation of the early morning and long day. One of the primary occupations on Deer Island is fishing, and I was waking up early with Dale and others from the island to join them in pulling in the nights catch.
The day before Dale and the crew (his son Judson, Judson's friend and a classmate of mine, Kyle) had baited and dropped the lobster traps (300 of them!). As the traps rest on the ocean floor, the bait attracts the lobster and they get caught in the cage, "trapped" until the cage is hauled up and the lobsters removed.
Hauling in the cages was our job that Wednesday. And because it was the first catch of the season it was also one of the most important. The cages are attached to a rope with a buoy on the end of it (sometimes the rope is up to 50 fathoms or 300 feet long). The rope retrieved by hooking the buoy and then fed into a hydrolic pulley which begins pulling up the cage. Once up the cage is then emptied of its catch (lobster, fish, crabs, sometimes pop cans), re-baited with fresh bait and dropped back down into the ocean.
The lobsters are kept, obviously, but only those over a certain size. Rubber bands are put on their claws to keep them from fighting and injuring each other when they are stored in their crates. It was my job to put rubber bands on the lobsters and pack them in the crates while Dale drove the boat and Judson retrieved and re-baited the cages. We worked on the boat from around 6:30 am until 5 pm, moving from buoy to buoy and pulling up each cage. By the time we headed back for the harbour we had managed to pull up 295 of the 300 cages and about 2000 lbs of lobster!
Some might be interested in what side affects I felt from a day on the ocean. Well, sorry to disappoint, but I found my legs and stomach were quite solid. It was a beautiful day though, with calm water and the only major waves being the ones that the fishing boats were making. I may or may not have fell into the bait box a couple times when I lost my balance banding the lobsters. I also lost feeling in my hand about halfway through the day from using the banding pliers so repetitively.
It's funny to think that an animal which was once thought of as a bottom feeder, and not to be eaten unless at last resort, is today one of the more popular and expensive dishes. The coasts of New Brunswick and Maine are well known for their lobster. An article I read from back in 2007 pointed out that lobster is one of Canada's most valuable seafood resources, with live lobster generating anywhere from 400 to 600 million dollars in revenue per year. The last couple years have been tougher with catches lower than usual. He said the catch we pulled in that Wednesday was good for an average year. Dale said prices for live lobster were low now, but he still seemed optimistic. Like many fisherman, Dale counts on the various fishing seasons throughout the year. Lobster season opens in mid November and closes mid January, and then scallop season begins and others follow. Canada's fishing industry is important to the many maritimers throughout New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, PEI and Newfoundland who depend on the fish and lobster each year.
During my time here I've experienced a lobster "feed" a couple of times. I think it takes some getting used to. For any who have yet to experience it, eating lobster is interesting and messy work. If done right it tastes great, and the experience quite unforgettable. Here are a few pictures from the day on the boat and also one from from our lobster feed earlier this year.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Birthpangs
"Not too long ago a priest told me that he cancelled his subscription to The New York Times because he felt that the endless stories about war, crime, power games and political manipulation only disturbed his mind and heart and prevented him from meditation and prayer. That is a sad story because it suggests that only by surrounding yourself by an artificial, self-induced quietude can you live a spiritual life. A real spiritual life does exactly the opposite: it makes us so alert and aware of the world around us that all that is and happens becomes part of our contemplation and meditation and invites us to a free and fearless response."
- Henri Nouwen (Reaching Out)
The lectionary readings from today (1 Samuel 1:4-20; 1 Samuel 2:1-10; Mark 13:1-8) carries a common theme of contrast; it connects the reality of brokenness found in the desperate and mundane of our world to the realizing of a fuller life and fuller humanity. What we would see as lowness, brokenness, destruction holds with it the actualizing of promise and life.
In the 1 Samuel passages Hannah's barrenness and the social humiliation that comes with this becomes a turning to God and the birth of Samuel. In Mark, Jesus describes to the awe-struck disciples the destruction of the temple, the turning of the great stones that were so remarkable to them. "When you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be alarmed" Jesus says, "this must take place but the end is still to come". He goes on to describe that nations and kingdoms will clash, that the earth will have natural disasters - "this is the beginning of the birthpangs." I thought "birthpangs" was an interesting word choice. Especially in light of the other two readings about Hannah's barrenness and the promise of Hannah's own birthpangs.
Altogether, it made me wonder if the point is that barrenness, breaking and clashing is actually a necessary part of a fuller life. Not to forget that Christ brings the life more abundant through the breaking of his own body, that the symbol of our association with Christ and the community of believers is the breaking of bread and wine of crushed grapes.
Read the Nouwen quote again, and ask ourselves how we should live in this world.
- Henri Nouwen (Reaching Out)
The lectionary readings from today (1 Samuel 1:4-20; 1 Samuel 2:1-10; Mark 13:1-8) carries a common theme of contrast; it connects the reality of brokenness found in the desperate and mundane of our world to the realizing of a fuller life and fuller humanity. What we would see as lowness, brokenness, destruction holds with it the actualizing of promise and life.
In the 1 Samuel passages Hannah's barrenness and the social humiliation that comes with this becomes a turning to God and the birth of Samuel. In Mark, Jesus describes to the awe-struck disciples the destruction of the temple, the turning of the great stones that were so remarkable to them. "When you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be alarmed" Jesus says, "this must take place but the end is still to come". He goes on to describe that nations and kingdoms will clash, that the earth will have natural disasters - "this is the beginning of the birthpangs." I thought "birthpangs" was an interesting word choice. Especially in light of the other two readings about Hannah's barrenness and the promise of Hannah's own birthpangs.
Altogether, it made me wonder if the point is that barrenness, breaking and clashing is actually a necessary part of a fuller life. Not to forget that Christ brings the life more abundant through the breaking of his own body, that the symbol of our association with Christ and the community of believers is the breaking of bread and wine of crushed grapes.
Read the Nouwen quote again, and ask ourselves how we should live in this world.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
The Sleep before the Spring
So we watched a good short video in class yesterday.
Like it or not, we are getting close to Christmas again. There are a lot of things I personally enjoy about this time or year. I like the cold and the snow, and the going inside and warming myself by the fire or having a cup of hot chocolate. I like sitting around the living room with a good book while there is a snow storm outside. I like the crisp air, the blanket of white, the season where the land seems to sleep before it comes alive again in the spring. I value the celebration of our quiet hope that comes in the Incarnation.
There are a few things about this time of year I could do without though. The shorter days, I find it harder to wake up in the morning without the early sunlight. I don't always care for the way my hands loose all feeling after doing chores on the farm because its so cold and my "circulation" isn't very good. But probably most of all it unsettles me when I'm walking down the street on November 1st and find that suddenly all the Halloween pumpkin grimaces and candies have been replaced by smiling snowmen and "gift ideas". I understand that people want to celebrate, decorate and give, but it is the way this is propagated and commercialized... it seems like we are in a sense selling our souls and buying something else instead.
I think that inwardly I find greater value in the winter season than all that currently detracts from it, but I feel the need to reiterate some of what we talked about in our class discussion yesterday.
We were talking about globalization and the impact of the dominant system of capitalism that our western economies and lives function on. The short video we watched in class cuts to the issue of consumerism and gives a brief look at how unbalanced our spending habits are when compared to some of the real needs of people around the world, especially in light of why and how Jesus came (and sadly how this consumerism is especially prevalent during the season of Christmas). Think about it. Just as encouragement to live simply, spend time meaningful and learn how to support habits in our society/culture that either create inequalities around the world or ignores them. Here's the link to the 2008 video on youtube and a link to the site, the movement is called Advent Conspiracy:
2008 video & Advent Conspiracy Site
"We don't know how to be generous if it isn't tied to commercialism..."
How true is this statement, in my life, your own life and in the wider context of our communities, nations and world we live in? I realize that not everyone links generosity to giving money, or buying something for someone else. But for me the underlying idea here is that our society's economic structure has an influence on our relationship and even our morality. I'm not making a call for everyone to react dramatically and drastically change the way they spend money, though maybe this is what should happen. But think about. How can we live a life that does not support the habit of materialism and easy gratification that is entrenched in our Western culture? Gratification. It is so easy to get something, anything in our culture, to be instantly gratified. Shouldn't it be that our relationships and morality have the greater influence on our society's economic structure, and not the other way around?
Let's not sell our souls or put them to sleep during the winter. I want mine warmed by the fire of hope, joy and love.
Like it or not, we are getting close to Christmas again. There are a lot of things I personally enjoy about this time or year. I like the cold and the snow, and the going inside and warming myself by the fire or having a cup of hot chocolate. I like sitting around the living room with a good book while there is a snow storm outside. I like the crisp air, the blanket of white, the season where the land seems to sleep before it comes alive again in the spring. I value the celebration of our quiet hope that comes in the Incarnation.
There are a few things about this time of year I could do without though. The shorter days, I find it harder to wake up in the morning without the early sunlight. I don't always care for the way my hands loose all feeling after doing chores on the farm because its so cold and my "circulation" isn't very good. But probably most of all it unsettles me when I'm walking down the street on November 1st and find that suddenly all the Halloween pumpkin grimaces and candies have been replaced by smiling snowmen and "gift ideas". I understand that people want to celebrate, decorate and give, but it is the way this is propagated and commercialized... it seems like we are in a sense selling our souls and buying something else instead.
I think that inwardly I find greater value in the winter season than all that currently detracts from it, but I feel the need to reiterate some of what we talked about in our class discussion yesterday.
We were talking about globalization and the impact of the dominant system of capitalism that our western economies and lives function on. The short video we watched in class cuts to the issue of consumerism and gives a brief look at how unbalanced our spending habits are when compared to some of the real needs of people around the world, especially in light of why and how Jesus came (and sadly how this consumerism is especially prevalent during the season of Christmas). Think about it. Just as encouragement to live simply, spend time meaningful and learn how to support habits in our society/culture that either create inequalities around the world or ignores them. Here's the link to the 2008 video on youtube and a link to the site, the movement is called Advent Conspiracy:
2008 video & Advent Conspiracy Site
"We don't know how to be generous if it isn't tied to commercialism..."
How true is this statement, in my life, your own life and in the wider context of our communities, nations and world we live in? I realize that not everyone links generosity to giving money, or buying something for someone else. But for me the underlying idea here is that our society's economic structure has an influence on our relationship and even our morality. I'm not making a call for everyone to react dramatically and drastically change the way they spend money, though maybe this is what should happen. But think about. How can we live a life that does not support the habit of materialism and easy gratification that is entrenched in our Western culture? Gratification. It is so easy to get something, anything in our culture, to be instantly gratified. Shouldn't it be that our relationships and morality have the greater influence on our society's economic structure, and not the other way around?
Let's not sell our souls or put them to sleep during the winter. I want mine warmed by the fire of hope, joy and love.
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