Monday, July 27, 2009

I accept you, long distance living

I have recently been struck by the thought that in my lifetime of 23 years I cannot recall one time that I have gone on hungry because of the lack of something to eat.

I tried two nights ago to find something more to write after that initial thought. I think it stands for pondering just the way it is.

About a month ago I moved back to New Brunswick after spending two months in Alberta, helping with seeding and yard work on my parents farm. During those two months I was involved in two weddings (one being my brother Darcy's), took a road trip to BC with my friend Caleb (who entertained me with experiences from his hitch-hiking excursion from New Brunswick to Alberta), climbed two mountains, rappelled into a cave and among other things, generally spent some much needed time catching up with family and friends.

It really was a much needed time, especially after having just spent two month in Southeast Asia. But it also highlighted some of the difficulties with having roots in two sides of the continent (and beyond). In a small way I wonder if this isn't what many missionaries and international workers experience when they come back home after a long time giving much of themselves and being given so much in another place, often with little to connect two worlds that they are very much a part of, but two worlds that have few other bridges to the other. I sometimes can't help but feel like I'm living two lives, both of them meaningful but in worlds that are disconnected.

I'm slowly getting better at finding ways of connecting home-life in Alberta to home-life in New Brunswick, or at least finding ways to let the differences be. It's great to have friends from out east come to the farm. In some small way it proves to myself that all my academics and fun on the coast are a reality even when I'm in Alberta. And in the same sense, when friends and family from the west come out to the coast it makes me remember that I really am from the prairies.

Differences are differences. There are obvious admirable characteristics that make the coast 'the coast!' and the prairies 'the prairies!'. In each I have found a unique beauty in nature and the joy in community. A question that has been getting me in the last couple years though... 'can someone be a full person in two places?'.

Whoever I have become in one place, with all of the people and experiences that have poured into me, gets carried with me to next. Maybe the better question that is really underneath this is 'what is a full person?'.