Birthpangs

"Not too long ago a priest told me that he cancelled his subscription to The New York Times because he felt that the endless stories about war, crime, power games and political manipulation only disturbed his mind and heart and prevented him from meditation and prayer. That is a sad story because it suggests that only by surrounding yourself by an artificial, self-induced quietude can you live a spiritual life. A real spiritual life does exactly the opposite: it makes us so alert and aware of the world around us that all that is and happens becomes part of our contemplation and meditation and invites us to a free and fearless response."
- Henri Nouwen (Reaching Out)

The lectionary readings from today (1 Samuel 1:4-20; 1 Samuel 2:1-10; Mark 13:1-8) carries a common theme of contrast; it connects the reality of brokenness found in the desperate and mundane of our world to the realizing of a fuller life and fuller humanity. What we would see as lowness, brokenness, destruction holds with it the actualizing of promise and life.

In the 1 Samuel passages Hannah's barrenness and the social humiliation that comes with this becomes a turning to God and the birth of Samuel. In Mark, Jesus describes to the awe-struck disciples the destruction of the temple, the turning of the great stones that were so remarkable to them. "When you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be alarmed" Jesus says, "this must take place but the end is still to come". He goes on to describe that nations and kingdoms will clash, that the earth will have natural disasters - "this is the beginning of the birthpangs." I thought "birthpangs" was an interesting word choice. Especially in light of the other two readings about Hannah's barrenness and the promise of Hannah's own birthpangs.

Altogether, it made me wonder if the point is that barrenness, breaking and clashing is actually a necessary part of a fuller life. Not to forget that Christ brings the life more abundant through the breaking of his own body, that the symbol of our association with Christ and the community of believers is the breaking of bread and wine of crushed grapes.

Read the Nouwen quote again, and ask ourselves how we should live in this world.

The Sleep before the Spring

So we watched a good short video in class yesterday.

Like it or not, we are getting close to Christmas again. There are a lot of things I personally enjoy about this time or year. I like the cold and the snow, and the going inside and warming myself by the fire or having a cup of hot chocolate. I like sitting around the living room with a good book while there is a snow storm outside. I like the crisp air, the blanket of white, the season where the land seems to sleep before it comes alive again in the spring. I value the celebration of our quiet hope that comes in the Incarnation.

There are a few things about this time of year I could do without though. The shorter days, I find it harder to wake up in the morning without the early sunlight. I don't always care for the way my hands loose all feeling after doing chores on the farm because its so cold and my "circulation" isn't very good. But probably most of all it unsettles me when I'm walking down the street on November 1st and find that suddenly all the Halloween pumpkin grimaces and candies have been replaced by smiling snowmen and "gift ideas". I understand that people want to celebrate, decorate and give, but it is the way this is propagated and commercialized... it seems like we are in a sense selling our souls and buying something else instead.
I think that inwardly I find greater value in the winter season than all that currently detracts from it, but I feel the need to reiterate some of what we talked about in our class discussion yesterday.

We were talking about globalization and the impact of the dominant system of capitalism that our western economies and lives function on. The short video we watched in class cuts to the issue of consumerism and gives a brief look at how unbalanced our spending habits are when compared to some of the real needs of people around the world, especially in light of why and how Jesus came (and sadly how this consumerism is especially prevalent during the season of Christmas). Think about it. Just as encouragement to live simply, spend time meaningful and learn how to support habits in our society/culture that either create inequalities around the world or ignores them. Here's the link to the 2008 video on youtube and a link to the site, the movement is called Advent Conspiracy:
2008 video & Advent Conspiracy Site

"We don't know how to be generous if it isn't tied to commercialism..."

How true is this statement, in my life, your own life and in the wider context of our communities, nations and world we live in? I realize that not everyone links generosity to giving money, or buying something for someone else. But for me the underlying idea here is that our society's economic structure has an influence on our relationship and even our morality. I'm not making a call for everyone to react dramatically and drastically change the way they spend money, though maybe this is what should happen. But think about. How can we live a life that does not support the habit of materialism and easy gratification that is entrenched in our Western culture? Gratification. It is so easy to get something, anything in our culture, to be instantly gratified. Shouldn't it be that our relationships and morality have the greater influence on our society's economic structure, and not the other way around?

Let's not sell our souls or put them to sleep during the winter. I want mine warmed by the fire of hope, joy and love.

I accept you, long distance living

I have recently been struck by the thought that in my lifetime of 23 years I cannot recall one time that I have gone on hungry because of the lack of something to eat.

I tried two nights ago to find something more to write after that initial thought. I think it stands for pondering just the way it is.

About a month ago I moved back to New Brunswick after spending two months in Alberta, helping with seeding and yard work on my parents farm. During those two months I was involved in two weddings (one being my brother Darcy's), took a road trip to BC with my friend Caleb (who entertained me with experiences from his hitch-hiking excursion from New Brunswick to Alberta), climbed two mountains, rappelled into a cave and among other things, generally spent some much needed time catching up with family and friends.

It really was a much needed time, especially after having just spent two month in Southeast Asia. But it also highlighted some of the difficulties with having roots in two sides of the continent (and beyond). In a small way I wonder if this isn't what many missionaries and international workers experience when they come back home after a long time giving much of themselves and being given so much in another place, often with little to connect two worlds that they are very much a part of, but two worlds that have few other bridges to the other. I sometimes can't help but feel like I'm living two lives, both of them meaningful but in worlds that are disconnected.

I'm slowly getting better at finding ways of connecting home-life in Alberta to home-life in New Brunswick, or at least finding ways to let the differences be. It's great to have friends from out east come to the farm. In some small way it proves to myself that all my academics and fun on the coast are a reality even when I'm in Alberta. And in the same sense, when friends and family from the west come out to the coast it makes me remember that I really am from the prairies.

Differences are differences. There are obvious admirable characteristics that make the coast 'the coast!' and the prairies 'the prairies!'. In each I have found a unique beauty in nature and the joy in community. A question that has been getting me in the last couple years though... 'can someone be a full person in two places?'.

Whoever I have become in one place, with all of the people and experiences that have poured into me, gets carried with me to next. Maybe the better question that is really underneath this is 'what is a full person?'.

Travels in Southeast Asia

I recently returned from a travel term in three countries within the region known as Southeast Asia. Like the trip to Europe I went on last summer, this one included a full semester of courses, and 32 people traveling together as academic pilgrims. We spent approximately 7 weeks living and studying in the Philippines, Malaysia and Thailand. As in Europe, we were able to gain a taste of the history and culture of the countries we were visiting by being there, eating the foods, seeing the region and landscape and touring the occasional museum or historical location. The main difference between this trip and the Europe trip, besides experiencing the amazing Asian cultures, was that as students we stayed with home-stay families in each country. As well, we also received lectures from professors at Northwestern University (Philippines) and Chiang Mai University (Thailand).

Trying to keep this short for now, I think the broadest thing I learned through this experience was the sense of the unknown being filled with history, meaning and relationship. Before this term I knew very little about Southeast Asia. I would not have been able to add much to any conversation that included the Philippines. The mention of Thailand or Malaysia would have brought uncertainty of being foreign, far-off and other. But now after having learned the brilliant history of the Thai kings, or of the Spanish colonization of the Philippines, after having lived with a family whose religious faith is Islam or after having walked through the streets and markets of Laoag City in the Philippines, after treking through the rainforest to climb a mountain in the rain and after chatting with Buddhist monk about his life and faith... I no longer feel like I can see and understand countries and people from Southeast Asia as the 'other'.
And I'm glad.

Of Clementines and Journeys

Time is moving quickly, or maybe I'm the one that has been moving too quickly. One of the advantages of a blog is that it can force one to sit down and reflect on what might otherwise never be reflected upon. Our experiences sometimes need to be unpacked. I suppose I could compare "experience" to the Clementines or Christmas oranges which show up in our kitchen at home each Christmas season. They are attractive to see and touch, but, to truly know all one has to offer the orange needs to be peeled and then savoured. Sometimes experiences can be enjoyed in their entirety all at once. Sometimes experiences need to ripen. And maybe sometimes, like an over-ripe, hard and discoloured orange, we let our experiences go by without having known them fully.

I'm on the verge, and now in the process, of another new and amazing traveling experience. I'll be part of a group at my university that is studying, and will soon be traveling through, South East Asia. But before I get too far along in this exciting new fruition of learning, I'm wanting to reflect and share some of my other experiences, before my hypothetical and experiential orange finds itself lacking in luster and taste.

So, back to Europe I go. Looking back, my travel semester that took me through eight weeks of eight countries this past summer was nothing short of incredible. I'll share some of the highlights: The rain in Spain - Seeing first hand the paintings, sculptures and buildings of Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Gaudi and many, many others of Europe's most gifted artists - Roman aqueducts and bath complexes - Eating amazing Gelato in Italy, sometimes more than once a day - Kayaking in Austria on Europe's cleanest lake at 6 am in the morning - Viewing Rome from the top of St. Peter's Basilica in the Vatican - A woman weeping at the tomb of Saint Francis of Assisi in the crypt of the Basilica of St. Francis - Standing in the main square of Prague where thousands of Czech people protested the oppression of communism, knowing it was only word and people against control and machine - Feeling the sobering silence and stillness in the concentration camp in Dachau - Spending an afternoon riding a tram and hiking in the Swiss Alps - Standing on the Beaches where Canadian, American and British troops landed on the 6th of June in 1944, D-Day - Most of our group getting sea sick crossing the English Channel - Having fish and chips and a pint in the Oxford pub where C.S. Lewis and the Inklings would meet - Sleeping in a tent, under the open sky and knowing there is a good chance of waking up to rain - Grocery shopping and making meals together - Laughing, singing and crying together - Trying to stay together and trying to get away - Hating being with people, loving being with people - Community - Diversity.

In case anyone wonders if I was really doing anything of academic value during the travel term to Europe (good question), it may be encouraging for you to know some of the numbers I recently crunched: I read at least 9 books and textbooks, over 50 articles, wrote over 100 pages of assignments and an 80 page journal. All this fitted alongside traveling that included packing and unpacking of tents and gear, lectures and presentations, travel by bus, subway, tram-car, bicycle, scooter and shoes, the shopping for and making of meals everyday and the safety and travel of 35 students and professors.

I've been learning that the history of my life has been completely shaped by the history of the world. Understanding Christianity and Western culture has been greatly enhanced for me by giving history the time to sink in deeper. I did not know that both Protestants and Catholics were responsible for the persecution of thousands of Anabaptists, some of which would eventually form a group known as the Mennonites. I did not know that over two hundred years before Martin Luther, John Wycliffe was calling for the church to take charge of its short-comings. I did not know that the invasion of allied forces into Normandy was the largest military operation in history which involved over 3000 aircraft stretching 300 miles across the sky, over 20, 000 paratroopers, and almost 134, 000 troops landing on the five beaches -- I'm learning that history often has a much greater story to tell.